


Behind Blue Eyes

by LowKeyGayHyena



Category: Nightwing (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 20:55:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2202801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LowKeyGayHyena/pseuds/LowKeyGayHyena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy's self hate is out of control, he tries to commit suicide. Oliver finds and stops him then panics trying to reach the one person left that can help Roy. Dick Grayson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Behind Blue Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ayita35730](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayita35730/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. The idea of Roy committing suicide was from Ayita35730. They asked if someone could write a story over this idea and I was more than thrilled to do it. Hope you all enjoy it and please leave comments! :D

"God damn it Roy." Dick muttering to himself. "What happened to you? Why didn't you tell me? I thought we were.." his mind wanders. Shaking his head "No, I'm not going to think about that now. Right now he needs me. When did things go wrong Roy?" tears begin to form in his eyes and a lump forms in his throat "God damn it.."

*Four days before*

"Why are we here...?"

"Oh come on Roy, at least try to look happy."

Roy can't feel anything let alone look at anything resembling happiness. All he can manage to do is think to himself negative emotions. _Ollie and his damn dumb ass smile.. I hate it. I don't want to be here. Just leave me alone. I'm fine._

Oliver slings an arm over his former sidekick-ex partner. Feeling the down right awful aura rolling off of Roy in waves he smiles at him laughing trying to ease him. "Hey, it's time for you to let loose. When is the last time we actually spent time together, just you and I?"

 _Ollie I don't need this.. I don't WANT this. I want to be alone, just like I always have been.._ He tries to smile politely but fails miserably. "Yea you're right. Thank you" Just as fast as that not so convincing smile appears, it's gone within an instant. He moves away from Oliver letting the attempted friendly embrace of his used to be mentor fail to nothing. _You can't help me Ollie... No one can. Some people try to understand but nobody knows what living like this is like._ His hands retreat into the pockets of his red hoodie balling up and hiding just as he wants to do.

  
The former mentor can only watch as his former partner walks away from him with his head down and hair over his eyes, hands in pockets. _What's wrong Roy? I'm your men- Second that, was your mentor. Just open up._ He walks up standing side by side with Roy. You couldn't tell with Roy all slumped over but he was possibly eye level with Oliver if not an inch or two shorter. This made him smirk but it quickly faded as his own bright green eyes meet the dark hazed blue of his partners. They seem.. sad? Possibly trying to hide receding behind the haze not wishing to see anything.

  
That night Oliver and Roy hit a club. Roy sits at the bar head down looking at his drink with the same cold expression. Oliver does his best to hook him up with any girl even the best of the best but Roy does't budge. He simply ignores them giving them the cold shoulder, just staring into his drink. Hair in his face covering those ever so lonely blue eyes.

"Roy, what's wrong? Iv'e never seen you like this before. It's starting to worry me." He leans closer to Roy as a sign of friendship from one man to another only to be returned with a fake smile and a drowned voice.

"I'm fine Ollie, really. I'm just not in the mood for dancing or socializing. Don't let me ruin your night." _Come on Ollie, just leave me alone._

  
He gives him a shrug the best way Oliver Queen can. "If you say so. Just remember you can always talk to me." A young brunette catches his attention and he follows her onto the dance floor watching her hips sway where they ride out the next three songs moving against each other.

Roy doesn't stay long enough for the first song to finish. He pays the bartender leaving his glass completely full, puts on his hood then shoves his hands into the hoodie pocket. Leaving the club he walks ever so slowly down the streets full of life and lights. _These lights... I hate them. Hate the way people are happy, hate the way everyone goes around thinking everything is fine._ His hands fall to his side out of the hoodie and ball into a fist. _Why do they have to be so happy? why am I such a failure? Why, why, why?!_ Before he has time to stop he feels the cold, wet tears falling from his eyes down his face. Roy brings up a hand and touches the wet intruders, softy wiping them onto his finger then looking at his hand. _I'm always alone... My greatest fear and worst enemy._ In an instant Roy is breaking out into a sprint down the streets. He runs not knowing where he is going but just runs. Trying to escape this happy hell. Escaping all the pain he tries to keep inside. Tonight. Tonight would be the day he can finally be free.

  
Oliver walks back to the bar after the wild dancing and movements of the brunette finally takes its toll on him. While retreating back for a drink he notices the empty bar stool where Roy was sitting. With a furrowed brow he walks over leaning over the counter. "Hey, bartender."

"Yes sir?" A man about half Oliver's age turns to him cleaning a glass.

"Did you happen to see a young man wearing a red hoodie and jeans around? He's my friend and-"

"Ah yes the depressed one. He left about twenty minutes ago. Seems odd though, he didn't even drink. What a waste of a perfectly good drink."

With his eyes narrowed and voice going mono toned Oliver thanks the man and turns to leave the club in search for his lost ex-partner. It doesn't take him long before he figures out where Roy had retreated to. The man never turned off his com unless something was seriously wrong. Oliver took out his tracker but there was no signal to be traced. Worried something had gone wrong Oliver runs to every place he thinks Roy would possibly run and hide too. After the two hours of drinking and dancing started to fade away Oliver was thinking more clearly. _Alright. The last place to find you and if you aren't there then it's time to call in the team._ Oliver arrives at an old abandoned apartment where Roy had crashed when he was busy getting higher then.. he's not really sure. Scanning around the area, Oliver finds the back way has been breached and it seems recent. _Aha. I've found you._ He advances into the building walking up the stairs not realizing what will turn him into an over protective dad.

 _This is it. The moment I am finally free._ With the harsh, course, rope around his neck, Roy prepares for what seems the final moments of the pain he has felt for so long. Closing his eyes and taking a final breath he steps off the chair and kicks it as he hangs choking. Even this slow death is nothing compared to the pain he has kept inside. As his vision fades, his wind pipe closing, the only thing Roy hears is the sudden yell of a familiar voice bringing the sharp sound of a no to what is left of his hearing. Another second goes by and Roy is almost gone. Vision fading and body limp he feels nothing. Finally feeling the freedom he has longed for.

*The next day*

"How is he?"

"He will live Oliver."

"That's not what I meant. How is he.."

"He isn't talking. Even I can't force him to talk, he has to willingly open up. I'm afraid until he does I can't help him."

"Thank you Dinah." Even he could not hold back the worry in those words. Sinking into the chair behind him with his hand on his forehead in a complete lost of thought.

Dinah walks over to him trying as best as she can to ease him. All she manages to do is give Oliver some form of comfort and he sinks his head into her chest while she kneels beside him. "He will come around Oliver. Have faith. You know where to go to find me." She leaves him with that kissing him softly and whispering something into his ear. A last hope if nothing less.

Oliver whips out his phone faster than he draws an arrow and calls Bruce. Not thinking even remotely acting on pure instinct, he tells Bruce everything and requests but on thing from him. Ending the call and taking a sigh of what seems to be a mixture of relief and worry, he sinks back into the chair outside of the room where his former sidekick and ex-partner lay lost in his own world.

It isn't long before Nightwing is tracked down. Not so much by the fearsome dark knight and father he had known, but from his little brother Tim. The last thing he wanted to hear was flooding from Tim's mouth and hitting hard as if someone where taking a knife and twisting it into his heart.

"You have to go help him! He could try again and maybe even succeed in ending it this time!"

Staring at his younger brother completely dumb founded at what he was hearing, all he could manage was to keep the same expression on his face. Again, every word that came from his younger brother's mouth were like knives piercing his heart. Ripping it apart, leaving it to bleed and to never work again.

"Dick please! He's your friend and he needs you!" His voice begging, hoping that his older brother would soon snap back and realize the situation. Tim watched as every word he spoke was piercing and breaking down the walls that the former Robin had once built to hide his emotions. Watching as his face turned from a blank stare to the crushing blow of his heart. "Please! Don't stare at me like that and go help him!"

Again staring with his bright blue eyes he couldn't find the words to say and even if he did they would surely falter at the lump in his neck. Without a word Dick sprung up to his feet and began getting dressed as fast as he could. The whole time thinking to himself every possible thing he could say to his friend to get him back.

With that the young Robin took to the streets of Bludheaven making his way back to the safe nest of his home in Gotham.

 _Roy you idio- No, yelling won't work. Calm down and breath. Let's try again. Roy, please don't do this. Yea that sounds convincing._ Shaking his head and setting the security up, Dick runs out to his bike in a white v-neck shirt, blue jeans, and black converse. He drives towards Star City where his lost friend is laying alone with little to no regard for his own safety or speed at which he is over. He doesn't care, not when his friend needed him the most.

It was late at night before Dick arrived. He drove up to the smaller than Wayne but still huge Queen mansion. It didn't take him long to remove his helmet setting it to rest on his handle bars of his bike. Walking in, Dick cleared his mind of what is racing through his mind and enters the mansion. As he does it's as if the whole atmosphere is dark and heavy. All the negative emotions hitting him hard causing Dick to lose his breath for the smallest of moments before he remembers to breath. He walks up the stairs and down a hall way to a tiny living area. There he sees Oliver and some other concerned Justice League members.

"Oh thank god." His voice filled with relief but still the deep worry inside it "It felt like eternity waiting."

 _Yea. It felt like an eternity to get here._ "I came as soon as I heard."

"That's all I asked for." Wrapping his arms around Dick giving the younger hero a friendly hug then letting go stepping back but obviously shaken, Oliver was glad to see him. "He won't talk, eat, move. All he does is lay in bed."

"Don't worry Ollie. If there is one thing I can do it's getting him to talk." _At least I hope I can. Just for this one time when it really counts. Please don't fail me._ He walks towards the door and puts one hand on it feeling the course hard wood frame against his palm. Taking a deep breath and pushing it open he enters the room preparing himself for the worse.

  
Upon entering the room and shutting the door behind him he hears the bodies of heroes and concerned father of a broken arrow, leaving the premise so he could handle the situation on his own terms. Dick almost didn't hear them leaving because of the almost non noticeable hero and friend he had known for so long, laying on the bed motionless caught his attention. The moonlight hitting the body of the fallen hero completely naked all but the sheets covering his hips had an ominous but attractive glow to him. The man laid half on his left side and stomach in the center of the bed. That massive body looking so small as Dick walked ever so closely to it noticing old scars that he knew about. Roy was still, even his cold, dark, hazed blue eyes didn't have an ounce of motion or life in them. His left arm laying beside him by his back and the right arm in front of him bent to his face, palm flat against the sheets. Those muscular legs falling foreword giving his body the look of a very lazy C shape. The right in front of the left hinting that the sheet covering his hips is hiding the position of them.

"R- Roy?" His voice shaky and hesitant full of fear. _Come on genius, speak softly. Normal. Let him know you are here to help._ Speaking in a softer and almost nurturing voice he calls out his name again. "Roy." This time the man laying lifeless gives Dick the slightest of hope that his friend is still there. He groans a little and his hand fists the bed slowly. _Good. So there is still a little of you in there._

  
Dick walks carefully to the side of the bed while kicking off his shoes and managing to remove his socks with them as well. He climbs into the bed and just lays on his side with Roy. He looks into the pale blue eyes of his friend trying to search for something. A sign, a spark, anything he could use to bring Roy's attention to him. He moved slowly closer to the man until their noses were touching and Dick's hand laid resting on Roy's. Any other time would be questionable as to why he was resting his hand on top of Roy's but for some reason, it felt as if it had somehow.. belonged there. Looking down at his hand and back up to Roy's eyes once again he felt the older man breath in.

Dick laid there for what seemed like hours as he watched pale blue eyes start to soften as his thumb rubbed over Roy's hand. Only when those pale blue eyes began to show a hint of more blue and their breathing in unison, did Dick dare to speak. In the same soft and nurturing voice, Dick called out to Roy again. The response was a small one with a slow blink but it didn't stop the small smile to appear on Dick's face at his victory. "Hey there."

Roy seemed to respond more. He let out a slow dragged out breath while his eyes blinked again and squeezed the hand resting on his. A few more silent seconds and the sensation of another person against Roy had him speaking as much as he could. "D- Dick?" Lonely blue eyes met with the brighter teary eyed man beside him.

"Hey Roy. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." His voice had gotten shaky and the small wet intruders started rolling down his face onto the bed as he was witnessing his long time friend coming back to him. "You had me worried there Red." With his free hand, Dick brought it up slowly to Roy's face and rubbed his thumb slowly over the cold cheek.

Roy's face seemed to move into the touch against his cheek. The warmth had Roy realize that this was no dream nor an illusion. Someone was laying with him, calling to him and reluctantly he responded. "Dick... I'm sorry" his body trembled at the words he was saying "I'm sorry." Roy's hand was squeezing Dick's tighter but not painfully. His body shook more as tears began to fill his eyes and slowly fall.

Dick moved closer to Roy until his body was pushed up against him enough that he knew Roy would feel his presence and warmth. "It's ok Roy. I'm not leaving you, I won't ever again." _How could I have done this to you? Leaving you alone when I know you fear the emptiness more than death. I'm sorry Roy._ Once Roy stopped squeezing his hand Dick moved up the bed sitting up. He leaned back on the head board and brought the man below him up his body. Dick placed Roy's head on his chest and held his right hand with Dick's left, resting it on his stomach. With his free right hand Dick brought it up to Roy's hair and began to run his hand through it slowly comforting his long lost red headed lover.

  
Roy could hear the slow, rhythmic heart beat of the man under him. It sounded peaceful and calmed his nerves as he continued to listen trying to match his own with his lover's. His left arm snaked behind Dick and pulled him close all the while pushing his face into Dick's chest. _I missed you Wing... I really missed you but why are you doing this? Why for me? A broken, suicidal, lousy excuse for a hero, man like me?_ Whatever to reason was Roy wasn't about to ask. He was too busy holding onto Dick and feeling his lover's hand running through his hair.

  
After many minuets of the two laying there together, breathing and listening to each other, Roy finally looked up at Dick with blue eyes full of fear but also trust in the man holding him. "Dick. Why? Why did you come back?"

"I came back because I realized I threw out the best thing that has ever happened to me. The one person who could make me forget everything both day and night." He looks down into those blue eyes as they begin to finally clear from every doubt and question plaguing the archer. "I didn't just come back Roy. I came home."

With those words and the soft smile Dick gave him, everything Roy was thinking was shoved out of his mind. All the pain and loneliness he felt vanished in an instant. It wasn't long after that before Roy's lips were pressed up against Dick's with a slow and soft kiss. It was an awkward position as the archer leaned up to kiss his lover's lips but he didn't care. He felt safe and at home with Dick, that's all he wanted.

Dick was taken surprised by the kiss but it didn't take him long to pull the archer up by the hair to deepen the kiss. His tongue pressing against Roy's red swelled lips, nipping at his lower lip until the archer allowed him access. With his mouth open Dick didn't hesitate to show Roy how much he was sorry with his tongue. He pushed into Roy's mouth shoving his tongue down the man's throat feeling his lover moaning into the kiss. They broke for air both gasping, Dick still having his hand in Roy's red hair. "I missed you."

Roy couldn't help but lean up kissing Dick again but rolling on top of him this time sitting at his hips with the sheet still covering majority of his own. "I missed you too." Leaning down for another kiss, Roy's hands couldn't help but getting underneath the white v-neck shirt and removing it from Dick. Throwing it the the floor Roy kisses deeper into Dick's mouth sloppy and wet. Lust filled his eyes as he closed them while letting the man below take full control over the kiss. Roy's hands slid down the chest below him carefully tracing every muscle and scar he knew was there and continuing to go lower. _God you feel so good. I missed you so fucking much, Dick._

  
Dick let out a moan as he felt hands travel down his chest aiming lower at the obvious bulge in his pants. When breaking the kiss Dick had to just say "Roy. My pants are getting a bit to tight. Think you could assist me?" With that and an accompanied smile that only Dick Grayson could do, Roy was removing his pants all the while dick moved the sheet from Roy's thighs revealing just how hard the man was getting.

Roy unfastened the pants and pulling them off just as he felt the cold air hit his cock while a moan escapes his throat as a hand wraps around him stroking him slowly. "Mmm Dick. That feels good." He's looking down into blue eyes watching his every movement as the hand strokes him to full hardness.

"Good Harper. I plan to make you feel good tonight." That low sexual voice Roy always loved to hear came from his throat reaching the man above making him shudder. "Come on Roy. I don't have all day."

"I don't think I could wait any longer." Roy gives a sinister looking smirk and he runs a hand over Dick's crotch through his boxers earning him a moan from him. Pulling off the boxers Dick is wearing, Roy eyes his prize half aroused but twitching at his movements. Looking up at his lover again Roy leans down and licks Dick's cock from base to the head stopping there and lapping at it.

Dick can't help but buck his hips up as that tongue does wicked things to him. He manages to put a hand in Roy's hair not pushing him down but just wanting to feel him.

Roy begins stroking Dick slow and steady as his puts the head into his mouth and back out coaxing it in wet saliva mixed with pre-cum. Roy gives Dick one last smirk before taking all of Dick into his mouth making the man below buck his hips up. Roy holds it there letting his throat muscles work around Dick before bobbing his head up and down with small sounds as he hums around Dick.

"Oh, god.. Ah, yes Harper.. Fuck" Dick's breathing begins to pick up as he watches Roy go down on him. Fisting the red hair tight he pushes Roy down as his hips go up causing the archer to gag. He hold him there until Roy needs to come up for air but after regaining air pushes Roy right back down repeating the cycle again.

Roy loves getting Dick all hot and moving like this. He doesn't mind the forcing of his throat to take all of Dick into his mouth. Pinning Dick's hips down with one hand and the other stroking himself, Roy bobs his head up and down sucking harder at the head then repeating it again. Feeling the hand in his hair tighten, Roy can only smile around the cock deep inside his mouth before he presses all the way down to where his nose hits skin.

Dick can't take much more before he's pulling Roy up by the hair off his cock and brings him up, meeting him half way, leaning down to kiss him deeply. His tongue attacks Roy's mouth hard and fast while his hips roll up pushing his cock against Roy's abs. Breaking the kiss and looking into the half open, lust filled eyes of the archer, Dick manages to get out "I love tasting myself" he grins at Roy "Alright Harper. You got me hard enough now lets get to the fun part."

Before Dick can move Roy does something he doesn't expect. Roy leans back and looks hungrily into his eyes saying. _You did not just say that. God damn Roy. You are so fucking hot._ He nods and allows Roy to proceed.

  
Moving down to Dick's hips, Roy keeps his eyes on the blue in those eyes the whole time. Stroking the insanely hard cock belonging to Dick, Roy lowers himself onto it slowly. Pain covers his face as he grits his teeth and shuts his eyes sinking down onto Dick until all of him is inside. "Fuck Dick.. Oh.. You're huge." He smiles down at the man as he adjusts around him. After a moment or two Roy begins riding Dick nice and slow getting used to the pain until it turns to pure pleasure. "Oh God, ah!"

Dick latches onto Roy's hips with his hands as he is brought closer and closer to the edge while watching his lover pleasure himself on top of him. "Fuuucckk, Harper. You're so tight.. uh." A few more movements from the man and he is thrusting up into Roy hard and fast as he rises and falls on Dick.

Roy's breathing hitches up and starts to become whimpers. "Oh, Dick, yes! Come on, ah!" With his own hand stroking himself and one more hard thrust into his prostate Roy yells "DICK!!" He cums hard and fast all into his hand causing his vision to blurry but doesn't come down until he feels Dick.

"Fuck, Harper. That's- Uh!" Dick thrusts deep into Roy then stills as Roy tightens around him and making him lose all control. "Roooyyy!!" Dick cums hard into Roy with a loud moan before sinking back into the bed still holding onto his lover's hips.

Roy slides off of Dick, feeling his cum falling down his thigh, lays beside him. With half opened eyes Roy looks up to the still breathing hard Nightwing but can only sleepy smile as Dick looks at him. "Thank you."

Still dazed from cumming he turns to match the same blue eyes staring at him and smiles while panting "For what?"

"Making me forget everything." He turns away from Dick "I'm sleepy. Goodnight Wing."

Roy feels movement from behind him until he feels strong, warm arms wrapped around him. Dick presses against Roy's spent body and pushes his nose into the nape of Roy's neck. Dick is spooning Roy but softly snoring against his neck. Roy can only smile and close his eyes saying "I love you."


End file.
